The Good "No" That Every Writer Needs

Yes. I said that, don't shoot me. No can be a good thing.

I've been thinking about my writing journey to this point. In my estimation I've completed about one one- thousandth of it. So it's early days yet, but still I can look back and see where I've been. I've discovered something. In retrospect the rejections that I received were almost entirely for the good.
The stories, the books that got rejected- they just weren't ready. Some of them were (gasp!) down-right bad. Or maybe they just weren't right for the market that I queried. But those no's served a very important purpose. They made me think, "What do I need to do to make this better?" or "What's a story that this magazine/editor/publisher wouldn't be able to resist?" They also lit a tiny little flame under my butt- of the "Well, I'll show you" variety. Yeah, I get that from my father's side.

Some of those rejections hurt. Mostly because they were generic form letters. Odd how a little check mark on a preprinted list of "reasons why we don't want this" can make you cry. And it still hurts to get rejected, but I've gotten some perspective on this writing for publication as a business.
Every no isn't the arrow through the heart that it once was. Though I admit, I still get the "Well, I'll show 'em" feeling. That may never go away. :)

But one of my early rejections didn't make me cry. It must have been 2003, around there. Even now I remember it fondly, and wish I could find it! It was from Gordon Van Gelder, who was (and is, as far as I know) the editor of the Magazine of Fantasy and Science Fiction. That letter was special. It was type-written on a little page of cream colored stationery. It was personal. To me. About my story. I can't even remember what the story was, but I can picture that rejection perfectly.

Gordon Van Gelder told me he had read my story. He then complimented my writing (not anything glowing, I assure you) and pointed out some aspects of the story that didn't work for him. Then he invited me to send more.
He signed it. That was it. Short and polite.

Would you be surprised to hear that that letter made more of an impression on me, had more of an impact on my life than any love letter ever could? It made me feel like my writing was important enough, that I was important enough for someone like Gordon Van Gelder to personally respond to. Like I had potential.

From then on, there was no going back. Though I never did get a story into that magazine- I sort of drifted more into the mystery and children's fiction markets. Since then I have heard similar stories about Mr. Van Gelder's generosity and supportiveness to new writers. And I believe he has made a difference for many of us.

How about you? I'd love to hear if there was a rejection that was "good" for you, or spurred you on. And I wonder if some of these editors would be surprised to hear that their rejections have become prized badges of honor?

Tags: rejections, writing

( 18 comments — Leave a comment )

(Deleted comment)

mguibord

2010-04-26 10:07 pm (UTC)

Yes! Just that little bit of affirmation is all we need sometimes. It's a gift- even if it came wrapped up in a big old "no"
:-)
And your comment reminds me- you never can tell when paths will cross again...

peadarog

2010-04-26 10:14 pm (UTC)

I don't like any kind of rejection any more. I like to think I'm past all of that. Unfortunately, I still get them and I still deserve to get them when I do :-) Just as well. Once you stop moving you sink.

2010-04-26 10:22 pm (UTC)

"Once you stop moving you sink."
Exactly right- onward and up!

carriejones

2010-04-26 10:33 pm (UTC)

What a great post! My best rejection was from my favorite editor at Harper Collins, who rejected my book NEED, then emailed my agent saying she thought she had made a mistake (on the same day we closed with the publisher who took it - the third to see it). And it was awesome because I used all her comments to make it a much better book.

2010-04-26 10:41 pm (UTC)

Oh my goodness- I bet that one is very memorable for her too :)
And she made the book better! That is so ironically sweet.
Thanks for sharing!

asakiyume

2010-04-26 11:47 pm (UTC)

That's a great story about Gordon van Gelder's rejection (and yes, he's still The Man over there).

My best rejection was one like that, too--not from him, though, I hasten to add!

2010-04-27 01:22 am (UTC)

Oh, I'm glad he's still there. He seemed like he would have been great to work with.
And happy that you've had one of those "good" nos too! :) Noes? I'm tired- neither one looks right!

writerjenn

2010-04-27 01:14 am (UTC)

Oh, yeah. A personal note on a rejection from the editor-in-chief at STORY magazine, back when that was the first place I sent every short story I was trying to publish. Never did get in there before the magazine folded, but still have that rejection slip!

2010-04-27 01:25 am (UTC)

The personal part- that's what makes all the difference. I'm glad you saved yours! I'm still looking for this one. I'm afraid I may have thrown it away- in a fit of pique. I sometimes have those :)

deva_fagan

2010-04-27 01:51 am (UTC)

Very fun reading these comments!

Mine is a rejection I got back in 1999 or thereabouts on my second completed novel. It was from Greenwillow, and it was the first vaguely personal rejection I'd gotten (also the only full ms request I'd gotten). I think that rejection kept me going for about 5 years of form rejection after form rejection.

And I am SO relieved that book was not published. I cringe to look at it now!

2010-04-27 09:57 am (UTC)

It IS fun to hear the stories- everyone is unique but there are certainly common threads. And yes I totally commiserate with the cringing. But yikes- on your second novel- that one must have felt so close! I pulled out a whole bunch of short stories yesterday and was muttering, "Okay this makes no sense. This is more of an anecdote. Did I even write this??? And so on..."
I guess some things DO happen for a reason. :-)

jongibbs

2010-04-27 01:28 pm (UTC)

Good question. Mine was definitely the first rejection I got for Fur-Face. It came on a bad photocopy of a bad photocopy and had the name 'John Gubb' scrawled in red ink where the address should be. It made me realize I didn't know what I was doing, which was definitely what I needed.

2010-04-27 03:07 pm (UTC)

Ouch- That's one that can only be good in hindsight. They didn't even get your name right! Though maybe that's slightly better than "Dear Author". I'm not sure. Well done for carrying on!

2010-04-27 04:56 pm (UTC)

To tell you the truth, I was more surprised than upset. I even thought they'd got the wrong guy at first (http://jongibbs.livejournal.com/23770.html).

Talk about your big ego :)

2010-04-27 05:07 pm (UTC)

You are too funny! That post got me laughing :-)

bogwitch64

2010-04-30 05:16 pm (UTC)

I like your attitude. It's a healthy one. The best no I ever got is recorded here: http://bogwitch64.livejournal.com/204749.html if you are so inclined.

By the title of the post, you'll see it's not quite as nice as yours. ;)

2010-04-30 06:05 pm (UTC)

Oh my gosh. That sounds like a case of whatever didn't kill you...
I was so thin-skinned when I started, it's probably just as well I didn't encounter
anyone that "helpful" :-)

2010-04-30 06:21 pm (UTC)

Looking back, I can appreciate the lesson. Back then...ouch.

mguibord

Maurissa Guibord

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